Author: Elsa Frohman Feedback:elsa@frohman.net Rating: PG Spoilers: None... really... I'm just being silly Summary: First Evil meets the being it can't crack. I admit it, I
was inspired by Harmonious!
Harmony looked in the window at the Gap. There was a pair of
jeans with sparkly studs and a really, really nice purse -- not to
mention a totally bitching pair of sandals.
She didn't have any money, but that wasn't going to be a
problem. All she had to do was wait around until nearly closing
time, then feed on the girl whose job it was to close up -- she
could help herself to anything she wanted.
That wasn't the problem. The problem was that it was only
seven o'clock, and the mall didn't close until nine. She had to
amuse herself for two whole hours. That was just totally lame.
Why couldn't they close earlier?
She turned, thinking to go down to the movie theater and see
whether that movie about the World Trade Center was still
playing, only to come face to face with Buffy Summers.
"Doing some shopping, Harm?"
The clearly overconfident Slayer gave her a knowing smile.
"Well, duh... of course I'm doing some shopping. Just because
I'm dead doesn't mean I can't go shopping. Who died and made
you queen? I'll shop if I want to."
Harmony backed away slowly as she spoke. It never hurt to put
some distance between yourself and the Slayer.
"Didn't say you couldn't. Cool jeans. You really like that purse
though?"
Harmony frowned. Something wasn't right here. The Slayer
pulled out a stake and went for your heart. She didn't make chit
chat about shopping.
"Um... no... the purse is like totally lame. I just like the jeans."
Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, the jeans are good. You going to get
them?"
Ah-ha! That was it. The Slayer was trying to trick her.
"No... don't think so. Not today." She backed off a couple of
more steps.
"Oh, don't be that way. You can have them! Just go in and get
them. Who's going to stop you?"
"Um... you?"
"Me?" Buffy said, looking totally surprised. "Why would I stop
you? I think you should have those jeans. Go on it. Kill the
clerk. She won't put up much fight. Maybe I'll pick up a couple
of pairs too."
"OK, I know what you're up to. You can't put anything over on
me. I'm not falling for it. So just go back to your Do-Bee
friends and leave me alone. I'm not killing anybody!"
"Do-Bee?"
"Isn't that what you call yourselves?"
Buffy cocked her head to the side and looked puzzled.
"Shoo, shoo... go away. You're not staking this little vamp
today."
Harmony turned and started to walk away.
"Wait!"
The voice was different -- well, duh -- a lot different.
"Spike?"
"Yeah, baby. I missed you. Let's go back and do that clerk.
They my little princess can have all the glad rags she wants."
"You bastard! How dare you? You dumped me for Dorkzilla!"
"Aww, baby. That was then; this is now. I can't get by without
my sweet Harmony."
Harmony looked him up and down. Spike was just as yummy
has he'd ever been. That beautiful blond hair. Those nicely
defined pecs. Those washboard abs. How could she resist...
"Awww... Boo-boo..." she said, her heart melting.
"There, there, baby. Let's just go back and do some
shopping..." He gave her an evil grin.
"Wait a minute, buster. No way. I'm empowered. I don't need a
boyfriend to be the best me I can be."
"What?"
"You heard me. You'll just take me back and use me, and then
as soon as Dumzilla or the Slayer crooks a finger, you'll drop
me like yesterday's scrambled eggs! No way. I don't need you."
Harmony drew up short. Drusilla was standing directly in her
path.
"You could never hold on to him, could you? You're just not
bad enough."
"I'm bad. I'm bad as I need to be. I'm empowered," Harmony
said with a frown.
"He'll never think you're anybody unless you start acting like
somebody. Go back and kill the clerk."
"Oh, no. Not 'cause you say so."
Harmony started off again, and was startled when she walked
right through Drusilla.
"Whoa... that was sort of cool..."
She turned around, but the dark haired vampire was gone.
Harmony shrugged. "Bitch," she muttered.
She took another step only to find a nearly indescribably
monster rearing up in front of her. It roared with open jaws
lined by rows of teeth dripping with blood and saliva.
"Go back and kill the clerk!" it screamed.
Harmony put her hands on her hips.
"Somebody's a cranky baby!"
The monster melted away.
"Humph!" she said. "Try and tell me what to do..."