In Harmony
Author: Elsa Frohman
Feedback: elsa@frohman.net
Summary: AU Post Entropy. Pre Seeing Red. Xander makes a new friend.


Xander Harris walked through Eternal Rest Cemetery, a stake
clasped tightly in his right hand, a wooden cross in his left. He
didn't generally patrol alone, and he was being extra careful.

He'd offered to go with Buffy, but she turned him down. Wanted
be alone tonight, she said. He understood -- with everything that
had happened -- lord he understood. But he couldn't bear to go
back to his motel room alone just now. There was too much to
think about -- too much he didn't want to think about.

"Anya," he whispered to himself. "Why did you do it? How could
you do that to me? With Spike..."

He forced himself to stop dwelling on it. He had to keep his
attention focused. Walking through a Sunnydale cemetery at night
wasn't the place or time to brood on anything. He stopped and
listened for a moment. The breeze was whispering through the
trees and there was a faint sound of traffic from beyond the edge of
the graveyard. Nothing stirring here.

He sighed. He almost wished there was something he could fight.
Maybe he wasn't the Slayer. Maybe he wasn't a bad-ass chipped
vampire. But he could still swing a stake with the best of them --
OK maybe not the best -- but he could still swing a stake ...

He started walking again and the dark thoughts stole back.

With Spike -- Spike of all people. No, not a person at all, a
vampire. And it wasn't just Anya. Buffy too. Has every woman I
know slept with Spike? OK, Willow probably hadn't. Hang on to
that -- Willow hasn't and probably isn't going to shag Spike.
Drusilla, maybe ...

He stopped again and listened. This time he heard something. He
held his breath and concentrated.

It was soft weeping.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." a vaguely familiar female voice
sobbed.

Xander turned and followed the sound. He rounded a headstone
and found the source. It was a woman, her head down so he
couldn't see her face, but there was something very familiar about
the long, blonde hair. She was hugging a scraggly cat to her chest
and rocking back and forth.

"I'm sorry..." she sobbed. "I don't want to..."

The hair, the voice, it clicked at last.

"Harmony?"

The head snapped up. The cat struggled and got away from her.
Harmony's face contorted in misery. "No ..."

"Were you going to eat that cat?"

"Yes," Harmony said defiantly. Then she started to cry again. "No
... I couldn't do it."

Xander stared at her. "Is something wrong, Harmony?" Duh... she's
sitting there crying her eyes out... observant Xander, real
observant.

He stepped closer. She looked up at him and wiped her eyes with
the back of her hand. "Oh go ahead, do it! Stake me." She her
mouth trembled, and she stifled another sob.

Xander realized he was holding his stake in front of himself as he
walked toward her. He lowered his hand.

"What's going on? Has Spike done something again?"

"Spike? Haven't seen him in months."

"What's the matter?" He tucked his stake into the back of his
waistband and crouched down to look into her face. He kept the
cross handy though -- just in case she pounced.

Harmony sniffled. "I'm so hungry," she whined.

Xander backed away. "Uh... nice talking to you, Harmony."

"Aw... I won't bite you."

"You won't?"

"I don't eat people anymore."

"You don't? Why?"

"Because I suck at it," Harmony gulped out, her sobs starting
again. "Most of them get away. Or they chase me... or they go get
the police. And I still don't get anything to eat."

"What do you eat?"

"When I was with Spike, he always had blood around. And it
would have been rude to eat people in front of him, anyway, 'cause
he couldn't. I sort of got used to it."

"And now?"

"Mostly I don't eat. I don't have any money to buy pig's blood. And
there aren't any pigs wandering around on the hoof in Sunnydale. When
I manage to catch a cat, I always end up remembering my kitty, Mr.
Poofy, that I had when I was a freshman. And I'm not fast enough
to catch rats ..."

"Ewww..." Xander said.

"Yeah, ewww. But I'm that hungry," Harmony whined.

"Well, I'll just let you get on with it then ..." Xander said, standing
and turning to move on. But something stopped him. Misery loves
company, or something like that. "Look, Harm, I might know
where you could get something ..."

"Why would you help me? You're a vampire hunter!"

Xander's shoulders sagged. "I hate to say it, but I'm not much of a
vampire hunter, and you're not much of a vampire."

"True," Harmony said sadly.

Xander extended his hand down to help her up.

----------------

Xander knew which butcher shop had a backdoor that was easy to
jimmy. He'd seen Angel come here more than once. His
Mastercard did the trick on the latch, and they slipped inside. It
took a few minutes to locate the jars of blood in the walk-in cooler.
Xander considered that it was probably odd that most of the
butchers in Sunnydale kept a supply of pig and beef blood on hand.
But apparently there was a market for it. He left a $10 bill on the
counter when Harmony wasn't looking, and they slipped back out
into the alley with several quart jars.

They strolled back toward the cemetery.

---------------

Buffy stopped in her tracks.

"I can hear you," she said testily.

"Well, I would hope so, Slayer. I'd have to wear tap shoes to be
any noisier."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Buffy ..."

"Don't 'Buffy' me. Just go away."

"Right, just turn your back, pet. Walk away. Don't deal..."

"Exactly. Good night. Don't trip over anything on your way back to
your crypt."

"I'm touched ..."

"Don't count on it."

------------------------

Harmony opened a jar and drank greedily. Xander averted his eyes.

She finished and leaned back against a monument. Her eyes were
closed as she relished the sensation of a full stomach and new
blood circulating through her body.

"So, I suppose you want to shag now."

Xander blinked. "Um... What did you say?"

"You bought me dinner. So you want to shag now, right?"

Xander shook his head.

"As positive for my selfesteem as that statement actually was...
there's something I've just got to ask."

Harmony opened her eyes and gave him a questioning look.

"I realize I'm not exactly the worst looking guy who ever graduated
from Sunnydale High School. That would be Jonathan. But I'm not
exactly Brad Pitt either. And I could be wrong about this, but most
of the guys I know generally have to ask girls out, buy them
presents, take them to movies -- you know the sort of thing --
before they can even think about trying to get a girl in bed. And
even then they get shot down most of the time.

"So, I'd just like to know why it's never like that for me? I suppose
I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth. But, you know, I keep
getting these offers, and I take them, and in the long run, it doesn't
seem to work out all that well..."

"You don't want to have sex with me?"

"I didn't exactly say that. But, you know, I can see a downside here.
Forgive me, but first it was Faith -- and the next time I was alone
with her she tried to kill me. Then Anya -- I could write a book
about Anya, but it would only have one page "Xander can we go
have orgasms now?" And I suppose that, all things considered, I
should be grateful that she chose to repay me by shagging your ex,
rather than any one of the myriad of uncomfortable things that she
could have done to me -- being a vengeance demon and all.

"Now you -- and while you're quite attractive, in your own way -- I
can't help but wonder what's going to happen to my neck if I fall
asleep ..."

"I told you, I don't eat people anymore."

"True ..."

---------------

"Buffy..."

"Spike, what does it take? I want you to go away. Is that clear
enough?"

"I think we should talk about this."

"I don't. End of story."

"Oh right. You're always the one who gets to say when it's over ..."

--------------

"Ewww..."

"Ewww?" Xander stopped, midway through shrugging out of his
shirt.

"Your tummy... it sort of hangs over your belt just a little."

He sagged. "Thanks, Harm. That makes me feel so amorous..."

"Sorry. Forget I said anything."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Well... I could distract you ..." Harmony ran her cool fingers
down his bare chest.

"Yes ... you could distract me..." He slipped his arms around her
waist and pulled her close.

------------

"It's over, Spike. That's all there is to say. It's been over. It's not
going to start again."

"If you don't care, why were you so upset when..."

"I was upset for Xander."

"Right..."

"And for Anya. She's very vulnerable right now..."

"Vulnerable as a charging rhinoceros," Spike said under his breath.

"Spike, you're a pig!"

"Wait..."

"Go away!"

"No, I think I heard something. Shh..."

"If you think you can..."

"Shhh!"

Buffy was quiet for a moment. She heard it too.

"Over there," she said. "Doesn't sound like a vamp, though. I think
it's teenagers."

"Right. Well, we'd better run them off. Not safe to make out in a
cemetery in Sunnydale."

Buffy nodded.

-------------------

"Xander, oh Xander..." Harmony held tight to Xander's shoulders.
She was perched on the top of a tombstone, her legs wrapped
around his hips. They moved against one another in a steady
rhythm.

"Harmony," Xander breathed, burying his face in the blonde
vampire's hair.

"Well, bugger me!" said a voice from behind them.

Buffy might have added her own exclamation, but she was
speechless.

Xander was suddenly extremely aware that his pants were around
his ankles and his bare buttocks were pointed directly at the Slayer.
He quickly pried Harmony's legs loose from around his body and
bent down to pull up his trousers. Harmony fell off the tombstone
with much awkward flailing of arms and legs. He was suddenly
torn between getting his pants back up and trying to help her. He
ended up on his face tangled in his clothing and his partner.

Spike and Buffy watched all this with mute fascination.

Xander scrambled to his feet and fastened his fly.

"Well, it serves you right!" he said indignantly, looking defiantly at
Spike.

"It does?"

"Yeah. Now you know what it's like to find someone shagging
your ex..."

Spike raised an eyebrow.

"You know, Harris, this hasn't been the best couple of weeks of my
unlife. In fact, it's pretty much been balls all around. And I've been
down. No, amend that, I've been lower than whale shite.

"But, you know, seeing you and Harmony this way, I've got to tell
you, this moment...

"I'm going to remember this for centuries, Harris. You've done
what I didn't think could be done -- you've given me back my will
to live. Thanks. I'm in your debt."

Spike started to giggle. The mirth spread through him until he was
laughing out loud.

"You take care of yourself, Slayer," he said, when he could speak
again.

With that, he turned and disappeared into the dark. They could
hear his laughter receding as he walked away.

"Um... Buffy?" Xander said tentatively.

"Don't say a word, Xander. I'm going home. I've seen enough for
tonight." She turned and walked away.

Harmony looked up at him from the ground.

"So, that's it?" she said, sounding more than a little disappointed.

"I think we'd better cut our losses, Harm," Xander said his body sagging.

Harmony let out a frustrated sigh.

"I don't suppose you'll be patrolling again tomorrow?" she asked.

"Um... I suppose I could..."

The End